Ever been dreaming about the “time when you were still on the highs of your passionate kissing.” Or maybe reminiscing about all the “firsts” that you and your partner did when you were just starting out? All those beautiful moments may flourish or be burned by time and remain as an unforeseeable dream of the past, if we don’t pay attention.
Long-term relationships can be a beautiful intimate heart opening experience or on the contrary a little daunting for some, especially when things are starting to lose its spark. Research says that there are certain stages where couples rebel and grow apart from their emotional connection with one another. Well, let’s have a look at these red flags and investigate how to navigate through those challenging times.
Here are the signs that your long-term relationship might be losing its spark:
You start to feel lonely even when he is just beside you.
That time when you moved into the same apartment. The feeling of security whenever he is near you. The warmth of his energy that keeps you at peace doesn’t seem to be there anymore. When you suddenly felt the stiff and cold breeze of a stranger with the face of the person you loved the most. Maybe your partner just stops caring for little things or maybe a little touch or a look seems to be a chore. That’s a place that no one wants to be in. Sometimes you have to trust your discernment towards things and be prompt to ask for possible reasons in a humble demeanor. Look into your own ways where you are not present anymore, where you might have lost some warmth or sweetness towards your partner. These are warning signs that your relationship might move into a different direction. That is a great way to step up and bring back some lightness and acknowledgement into the day. For example, start a practice of gratitude together, just before dinner. Share 1 thing you are grateful for in the other.
Your partner gets irritated easily and starts to pick fights even with the small issues.
This sign is contrary to the first one. Your partner just blew up noticing every little thing. Your screen time, your movie taste, that unusual smell of yours, and even the coffee spills. Every single day that passed you just can’t help sleeping with an unfinished argument. You might think that it is best to stay quiet, or maybe you are convincing yourself that your partner is just having a bad day at work. Try to bring back some communication and appreciation into the occasion. Often times a sweet smile, a tender touch or a “I love you” can turn the table around and open the space for deeper communication to bring clarity and mutual respect.
Your partner seems to have no interest in little details about your day.
Remembering those moments when you just can’t sleep without sending your long “good night” message. Or maybe the times you are smiling alone reading text messages during your lunch break at work. All those simple things that you want to update your best friend slash so-called lover. Yes, those were the times that your partner is still interested in you. Did it burn? Maybe be the one who initiates again some of this playfulness and sweetness in the relationship. Think about 3 things you can surprise your partner with, something you haven’t done for a long time. Maybe some flowers, or a love letter, or a surprising dinner date.
Your partner doesn’t seem to be interested in making love anymore
Maintained-level of intimacy is vital to every relationship. When was the last time you actually cuddled your most precious one? Do you still greet each other with a warm smile in the morning and kisses on the forehead before bedtime? Do you still meet each other’s eyes? Or even make time to rest on each other’s warmth. If these little things are hardly experienced in your current relationship try something new.
Having a connection to one’s body is important when you are in a safe space of sacredness – long term relationship. There will be moments that sex becomes more flat, maybe it is a bit boring or repetitive. It is “just” sex. “Making love” again is a step that is sometimes difficult to take.It is more of an art.
Suriya Nitschke is a holistic sexuality and intimacy coach, Tantra teacher and author of the book “Blossoming into Bliss”. She teaches not only transformative Tantric lovemaking but also exquisite tools to empower your intimate life and open you towards deep transformative orgasms. Her course (Sacred Yoni Massage) will help you and your partner bring back the spark of your relationship and achieve a whole new level of sexual intimacy and lovemaking.